Once erased from existence
by D.M.A.S
Summary: I knew he would save me. / And I hoped he knew that a Phoenix would only die to be reborn again. / We will for sure have enough time. For we are eternal. / I need someone to save me every once in a while. Jean/Logan. Alcatraz and on.. pls r&r. Chap 10 up
1. of claws and wings

AN: My first X-Men FF ever. So please be gentle with me. Also my first attempt on writing a story in English for a long time. So all mistakes are mine.

I just sat here the last couple of days and watched the X Movies again. Reading some ff's of Jean/Logan here as well and as for I was always a fan of them I just came up with this. I'm not a native English person so please bear with my mistakes... I recently watched the X3 blu ray with that writers comments about the whole movie (which is quite interesting) and gave it me some ideas. So here we are.

This is in Jean's POV and is catching up on how everythng could be for her (and what will happen) after the X3 ending but I'll as well try to explain certain events from X3 from her POV.

I am trying to make her reasonable and I'll try to put in more of Logan (and maybe the rest) later on.

Please tell me if you'd like to read more of that because I really don't know if I should continue writing .. ;-) I hope you like it. Feedback would be sooo amazing. Just let me know what you think, please. For I can't read your minds, not yet at least... ;)

Awww and... For there is a reason an eagle combines wings and claws.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.

Summary: I knew he would save me. He always would. / And I hoped he knew that a Phoenix would only die to be reborn again. / We will for sure have enough time. For we are eternal. / I need someone to save me every once in a while. Jean/Logan. Alcatraz and on.. (and why she did what she did)

* * *

The chaos from my mind exploded around me. Frequently destroying the remainings of Alcatraz as he walked up to me. And I was captivated. Proud that someone took a stand. That _he_ took a stand.

There I was. Overwhelmed by everything that was happening around me. This was too much. I couldn't control myself any longer. I couldn't focus and Phoenix and me were both too angry and too stubborn.

But there he was. And as Logan tried to reach for me _Wolverine battled Phoenix_. She wanted him to go. I didn't know what I wanted and he just wouldn't let go. So he healed his wounds as she was finally giving in more and more.

I didn't exactly hear what he said. Everything was so loud in my head. Waves crashing. Fires burning and humans and mutants thinking too much of how to come out here alive. I could hear them. All of them. And I wanted them to stop. I wanted them to shut up.

And between all of this he was calling to me.

He stood in front of me.

"Save me", was all I could manage to say as I looked into his eyes. And I knew that he knew what I wanted him to do. "I love you", was the last thing I heard before _Wolverine stabbed Phoenix_ and I gladly closed my eyes. There was satisfaction displayed in them a moment before and I hoped Logan saw it.

He would take care of me. I knew he would_ save me_. He always would.

And I hoped he knew that a Phoenix would only die to be reborn again. As well as she is a part of me. For we are one. We just hadn't have much time to control each other to live along side in my body. For the Professor tried to save me from myself by pushing her away.

But she's a part of me. And I need her as much as she needs me. Just as much as I am Jean Grey, she is. And just as much as she is Phoenix, I am too. We are one. And if we have enough time to learn to work together and get along we can be so much more.

But we'll figure that out. We will for sure have enough time. For we are eternal.

And I know that I need help. I need someone by my side to achieve that. I need Logan to teach me to get along with Phoenix. For he is my true soulmate and as bold and human as that may sound I need someone to save me every once in a while.


	2. some wounds get deeper with time

AN: Thank you soooo much for reading and reviewing. :) So well I hope you'll let me know again what you think so far. So I hope you enjoy reading. ;)

* * *

_But some wounds get deeper with time_  
_You don't feel it now_  
_Till the need burns, a knife turns_  
_Your heart bleeds like mine_

_- "Save Up All Your Tears" - Diane Warren, Desmond Child_

* * *

He stood at the balcony of the mansion and looked up at the sky far in front of him. He had to be the strong one. He had to be there for Ororo and Rogue and it was good that they had Hank now who was a great help with everything. They needed to manage. They needed to go on. Even if it was only for the kids. But they needed to be strong.

They lost three persons in the last couple of weeks. Three of their friends and mentors.

So on the outside Logan needed to be strong. But he was nearly falling apart when he was alone. Mostly at night in his room he couldn't take it any longer. He tried hard to fall asleep and most times he didn't succeed. And when he did. When he finally fell asleep it was only to relive it again. To have the nightmare haunt him. He relived _stabbing Jean_ all over again and again and again until the sun came up and made him leave his bed in a mess.

It usually took him two more hours until he'd get down to eat breakfast and until then he kept searching for answers and questioned himself if he could have done anything different to save her. It's been two weeks now since she was gone and his nightmares didn't stop. They had become even more intense. _"Save me"_, was usually what he heard when he woke up. But this time it was different. He heard it, yes. But she kept on calling out to him as he was awake. That's when he knew something was odd. Also he sensed something. It was week at frist and grew stronger then. But it couldn't be, could it?

He wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks with him. But it wouldn't matter if he would give in and look out for her, would it? So he went down to the garage and hopped on Scott's old motorcycle which was still down there because no one wanted to remove anything. So he took it and got off for a ride. Listening to his insticts and the voice that was calling out to him.

She did it once. _Maybe she could come back again. Right?_

* * *

"So where's Logan?" Ororo asked Hank as they ate breakfast.

"I don't know but I heard an engine roaring a couple of minutes ago."

Ororo sighed. He truely loved Jean. Still does, she thought. She couldn't blame Logan and just hoped he'd be back soon.

It had taken them hours to get him to come along with them after the events on Alcatraz. Jean and him had been the last people out there and he sat on the ground with her body in his arms for hours. Ororo and Hank had come back later to get him. He had still been stitting there on the ground. The two of them waited at the remainings of the Golden Gate Bridge and just watched him. They knew it would upset him if they'd approach him. He needed his time. So it took until dawn's breaking as he was finally about to give in. He eventually got up and carried her over to where Ororo and Hank had been waiting. No one said anything, they just walked alongside each other.

It had been two weeks now.

* * *

He was on the road for several hours now. He only stopped when the motorcylce needed gas. And he wouldn't give up on finding her. The sun came up and went down again and kept repeating that and it didn't matter to him that it took him several days to reach his destination. Suddenly the Bay Bridge appeared in front of him and he crossed it without thinking further about it.

It was at Golden Gate Park where he parked the motorcycle and his feet took him a few hundred meters into the park as he finally caught a glimpse of auburn hair sitting on a bench. He couldn't believe his eyes and started running.

"Jean?" he called out to her. And the red haired woman turned around to face him as he came nearer.

He hugged her and held her tight. He never wanted to let her go again.

Until curiosity took over and he took half a step back.

"How?" was the only word he managed to say as tears rolled slowly down his cheeks.

Jean shrugged, "you know what they say about a phoenix? I guess I simply can't die. I mean I obviously did but I can't stay dead for long."

Logan was trying to focus on every word and still he couldn't believe it. Not only was she back but in front of him stood Jean. _Jean not Phoenix_, he noted mentally.

They sat down and sat on the bench for quite a few more hours and Jean told him everything she remembered.

"What's happend to her? I mean I'm glad you're back but last time as you reincarneted you know Phoenix took over..."

She cut him off and tried to explain, "the thing is... Phoenix and I have always been one. She's a part of me and I'm a part of her. But since the Professor tried to ground her in my mind she got angry more and more... So well at Alkali Lake as Scott was there she needed him to free her or let's say us... and because we didn't really have much time recently to learn how to coexist in my body she took over and was angry. I tried to hold her back but I couldn't then ... now I can. Well at least I try and so far it works out pretty well."

She paused a brief moment looking straight into his eyes, "I didn't have the chance so far to tell you Logan, but I love you too."

He smiled and just hold her in his arms. He still couldn't believe it and was glad he had her back.

"What are we going to do now?", Jean asked after several minutes of comfortable silence, "I mean we can't sit here forever", she said and smiled.

"As far as I know now, neither you nor I are capable of dying", he stated, "so technically, we could sit here forever."

* * *

"He's gone for four days now what if something happend to him, 'Ro?", Rogue asked the older woman.

Ororo flashed her a smile, "he'll be fine. And he will come back."

Rogue hugged her, "thank you." And Ororo wasn't sure if she could believe her own words. _What if Rogue was right?_


	3. there's someone who needs you

AN: Thank you for the feedback :) We'll see how the others may react (if they come back and won't sit there forever ^^ ... ) Well I'll try to update as soon as I can and I hope you still like it. Just let me know.

* * *

_Jeanny, quit livin' on dreams_  
_Jeanny, life is not what it seems_  
_You're lost in the night_  
_Don't wanna struggle and fight_  
_There's someone who needs you..._

_- "Jeanny" - Falco  
_

* * *

He was concentrating on his game of chess against himself. The movement was just slightly visible but he knew that he didn't move his hands and smiled. So much for curing a mutant. He laughed on his inside. Homo sapiens, damn stupid they are.

He would be back, he promised himself and than he'd show them how to get really cured. But for now everyone thought of him as just the old man playing chess. That would give him a good advantage. And he smiled.

It was then that he thought his ears played tricks.

"You really don't want to eat anything, Logan?", that name clearly rang a bell. As if it wasn't a comman one.

"No thanks Jeannie, as I already said I could just use some amount of sleep right now", that was when he looked up from his game and just there on the path which was only quite a few meters away from him he saw them.

Now he was sure it was really them.

"Interesting", he said to himself and tried to focus on his game again and smiled slightly.

* * *

"But where did he go, 'Ro?", she asked and was nearly about to cry, "and why?"

"I don't know where he went, Jubes", the other woman said, "and as to why. I guess because he can't stand to be reminded of her every goddamn minute."

"But it wasn't him who killed," Jubilee started and cut herself of, "it was Wolverine who killed Phoenix it wasn't Logan who killed Jean."

Ororo looked down at her feet and then up again, "that's what I first thought as well -"

"What do you mean?", Jubilee asked and didn't quite understand.

_It was five days after the events on Alcatraz happend as Ororo suddenly awoke by a scream in the middle of the night._

_She slowly got up and looked along the corridor as she left her room. There was that scream again and she instantly knew it was Logan. So she ran to his room and opened the door._

_"Logan?", she called out to him, "Logan?", she called again and saw his eyes flatter open._

_She gave him a few seconds, "are you ok?"_

_"Nothing's ok right now", he replied, "but I'm awake, yeah."_

_"What was all that about, do you still have nightmares about what Stryker did to you?", and she knew it was a silly question but she wanted to know what was wrong._

_"I'm killing her over and over again", came his reply._

_"But it wasn't your fault, you didn't kill her", Ororo said, "I mean it was Wolverine who killed Phoenix."_

_Logan laughed bitterly, "no, actually it was ME wo killed JEAN."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"As I said it was **ME** who killed **JEAN**. Yeah it was Phoenix who fought against Wolverine up there but as I reached her it was Jean who begged me to save her. It were her greenish brown eyes who looked into mine and begged me to save her from this hell. And it was me who stabbed her and as my claws touched her heart and cut right through it I told her I loved her.", he said and silent tears ran down his face._

"So you mean Logan," Jubilee asked and the older woman just nodded.

"Oh my god", Jubilee just said and ran out of the kitchen leaving Ororo behind who took a few seconds and then pulled herself up from the stool she sat on and made herself walk over to her classroom.

* * *

"Why didn't you use yours?", Jean asked him as she saw Scott's bike infront of them.

"Dunno", Logan replied and shrugged, "hop on and then just tell me mentally where we've to go", he said.

"Ok", Jean smiled slightly and got up behind him just to hold him like she'd be holding on to dear life.

It took them about twenty minutes until they reached a small motel at the other side of the bay.

"There were so many voices in my head those first few days", Jean told him to explain why she had chosen a motel out here.

He nodded and followed her inside her room. He went over to the window and could make out the city even if it was quite far away and the small island before.

She approached him and followed his gaze realizing that it was _Alcatraz_ he was looking at.

"What happend to the kid?", Jean asked not daring to look away.

Logan turned his head towards her and moved hers as well gently with his fingers, "Leech is safe. Actually Kitty did some pretty good stunt in tricking Juggy."

Jean couldn't help it but laughed. She laughed for the first time in weeks. And it was so good for Logan to hear it.

"Yeah it was pretty funny."

Jean turned more serious again, "what happend to Rogue, I didn't see her there then."

Logan sighed, "she wasn't there because she took the cure."

"I hope she's happy", Jean just said and saw Logan's look.

"I just don't get why she did it", Logan said.

"Well do you know how it feels if you want to touch somebody you love but simply can't?", Jean asked him, "what I mean is I can understand her." As his face didn't change she just went on talking to him, "when Phoenix takes over it's not like I don't know what happens, I am there then I just can't do anything about it. So I do know how it feels if you want to touch someone you love and simply can't but have to see how you suck his life out."

He just hugged her, "it's ok now, Jeannie."

Tears slowly ran down her cheeks and they just stood there for a few more minutes. Neither of them saying anything.


	4. save me, San Francisco

AN: Thank you for the feedback ladies. :) I hope I can update sooner and more in the next couple of days/weeks. _  
_

This week has sadly been quite busy and I hadn't have that much time to write. So therefore here is a 'little' chappie. I try to make these longer the next time but I didn't want to let you wait that long so here's what I got so far.

I hope you enjoy reading and feedback would be sooooooooo wonderful as always :D It actually makes my day. ^^

Oh and I just thought the song title was so fitting to them. :)

* * *

_I never knew all that I had_

_Now Alcatraz don't sound so bad_

_- "Save me, San Francisco" - Train_

* * *

He was sitting on the edge of the bed in her motel room and his eyes gazed out of the window in front of him in the direction of the remains of Alcatraz.

He nearly jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry", Jean said, "I didn't want to..."

"It's ok", he said and she followed his gaze.

It was then that she started crying. He turned towards her and pulled her into his arms.

"Shhh, it's ok Jean."

"I...I...I", she tried to speak, "I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want to hurt them... Anyone. I didn't want to hurt _you_."

He just held her, "it's ok, Jean. It's not your fault. Besides I still believe that I could have convinced you if those soldiers hadn't fired their guns."

Now he was crying, too.

So they simply sat there quite a while until she spoke up, "we're both quite messed up, huh?"

Logan just nodded but smiled a little.

"So what now?", she asked and he knew instantly want she meant.

"We could either live somewhere among_ 'normal'_ people but I guess we would have to change our looks a bit then because some of them may notice us from the latest news", he began, "or we could go back home."

Jean looked up as he said, 'home', "Logan as much as I'd want to go there I can't."

"Why?"

"They sure as hell hate me for what I did, they won't trust me anymore. And I can't blame them I wouldn't either."

He silenced her, "Jean that's bullshit. They'd be happy to see you alive. Probably they won't trust you right from the spot but they will sooner or later. They miss you there, Jean. _I_ _miss you_ there", he said wiping a tear away that was rolling down her face.

She didn't say anything.

"There's so much you have done for them in the past years, hon. I'm sure they can forgive you if you tell them what happend to you."

She smiled a little bit, "thank you." But he knew she would stay suspicious.

"There's one thing I'd still like to know", Logan suddenly said, still holding her.

"Yes?", she asked not knowing what he wanted to know. She was to weak right now to read his mind and she would have asked him first if it was ok for him to do so.

"What happend to them?", Logan asked her and she knew that he meant the Professor and Scott, "we couldn't find either of them so..."

"I don't know what happend to the Professor", Jean said, "but he didn't die. I mean it may sound stupid but he didn't die. Phoenix did kill his body but it felt like his mind went somewhere else seconds before he was gone."

"You mean he left his body?", Logan asked curious.

"As I said it sounds ridiculous and you probably won't believe me but yeah something like that."

"I believe you", said Logan, "as he throw one last look at me it was like he was telling me that everything would be ok."

"He did?", Jean asked him her face still full of tears.

Logan nodded, "do you remember what happend to Scott?"

Jean sighed, "he was standing in front of me. I wanted him to take his glasses of because I thought I could control it now. I didn't understand anything then. Well I took his glasses of and it worked I could see his eyes. I don't quite remember what happened then but I know that I didn't kill him. He was probably thrown into the woods by Phoenix but I can tell that she didn't kill him."

"So that's why we found the glasses? You mean he's still alive?", Logan asked her.

"I don't know for now but he was when I left him", she said.

"What happened to your relationship?", Logan asked her then, "Do you still love him?"

Jean just shook her head, "Scott and me were practically over before you arrived at the mansion. We've been together since we were teenagers. The passion that had been there once was long gone. Over the years it was more like we became really good friends. It's just that neither him nor me wanted to see that.

It was at Alkali lake after I kissed you and told you that I'd chose him that I realized it. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to come back. I had to tell him how I felt.

And as I came back... As Scott stood in front of me I kissed him one last time and we talked a little bit but not that much. We both knew it was over.

I don't know what exactly triggered her but then Phoenix took over and something happened with my powers and I blacked out."

They sat there for a few more minutes until Logan picked her up in his arms and put her to bed. Jean didn't say anything.

"We should try to get a little bit sleep", he said and lay down next to her, facing her.

She cuddled up to him, "I don't wanna lose you."

"You won't lose me", he said and put his arm around her while her head rested on his chest.

It didn't take long until Jean was asleep.

Logan on the other hand lay awake for quite some time. He simply couldn't fall asleep. But it didn't matter. He hadn't slept in days so what bad could one day more be?

What mattered was that Jean was alive. That he had her back. And he would never let her go again.

He looked down smiling at her peacefully sleeping form and somehow he fell asleep as well.


	5. a different bedtime story every night

AN: Thanks for reviewing ;) Keep that up, please. ^^

Sorry for not updating earlier I had a little car accident on sunday. No one was really injured except for my car which crashed into a wall and needs to be repaired now. But I once again survived a car accident. Just about nearly two years ago I drove into a wall with 140km/h (~87mph). Nothing injured back then (aside form my car).

So anyways, I didn't get seriuosly injured this time either, just a little shock and a tiny whiplash injury. So I needed to slow down the last few days a bit and had some time watching old movies. :) So I once again watched "100 feet" with Famke Janssen. A really really great movie. To me one of the best ones. I like movies/plays with a very little cast and not that much of a set/sets. To those who haven't watched it jet, you should :). Famke's doing such an amazing job... anyways I once again stumbled over her wearing that wonderful Snow White costume for Halloween. (you should google it. there are pics online... *putting up links here just sucks*) :)

Anyways... thanks for reading the story so far. :) Would be great if you write what you think. And if you have any ideas, let me know, then MAYBE I can put them in there ;)

Jeannie... das nehm ich dir gaaaaanz bestimmt nicht übel :) Kannst du gern machen. Ich schau mir das auf jeden fall mal an. ^^

So here we go...

Oh and I used a quote of "Kate & Leopold". WIth is a cute movie ironically with Liev Schreiber and Hugh Jackman... :P

Chapter's not that long.. sorry for that. And I'm afraid it's not quite good either.

* * *

_"My dream is to find a guy. Someone who can tell me a different bedtime story every night."_

_- Famke Janssen_

* * *

_"I don't want it to be Sunday. I want more of this, more 1876."_

_- Kate (Meg Ryan) in Kate & Leopold_

* * *

He woke up and let his arm roam about her side of the bed just to notice that she wasn't there. He recognized her scent still lingering in the air so it wasn't just a dream which made him smile a little. But where was she?  
Opening his eyes he glanced across the whole room not finding her. There wasn't any light in the small bathroom either.  
He got up and noticed that at least her shoes and the jacket she wore the day before were gone as well.

A few minutes later he was looking out the window and totally lost in thought as he suddenly heard the door slam shut. So he turned around, "there you are" he said smiling as he saw her with two coffee mugs and a bag full of stuff standing in the room.

"Sorry", she said because she had to kick the door shut with her foot.

She put the things down on the small table near the window and came over to him embracing him.

"Morning", she said and he returned it.

"I thought you left me", he said faking a sad face.

"Sorry", she said once again, "I just didn't think you'd notice my ten minute absence. After all you were sleeping pretty deep and it's already eleven o'clock."

"It is?", he asked.

"Yep", she said smiling and sad down on the bed while sipping on her coffee and eating a croissant.

"Wow", he said, "that stuff is really good", referring to the things she bought at the bakery.

"There's that little old store down the street", she explained, "I just found out about that one a few days ago."

They were silent for a few minutes until Logan called her name slightly nearly whispering, "Jean?"

She looked up and into his eyes not knowing what that tone in his voice meant. She hadn't heard that one before.

He stared a few more moments back into her eyes until he spoke up, "I don't wanna lose you ever again. And I don't ever want you to leave again. Jeannie, will you marry me?"

She was quite shocked and just stared back at him so he went on with talking, "I want to be the one who sticks around. Jean, _I can be the good guy_."

His hand vanished slowly into his pant pocket and pulled out a little box. Opening it and getting the ring out he said, "I want to be _your_ good guy" and pulled her hand in his.

Jean now had a single tear running down her face and was nodding, "you've always been the good guy, Logan. Even though you've been hiding that side quite good and it took me some time to notice it." She smiled at him, "yes I want to marry you, Logan." Then she slowly captured his lips with her own.

After the kiss she stared down at the ring which he was putting on her finger and it fit perfectly.

He saw the slightly questening look in her eyes, "My grandma gave it to me. It's like a few hundred years old, give or take."

"Wow", Jean said, really impressed looking at that beautiful piece of art.

* * *

It was quite rainy outside so Storm, Hank, Rogue, Bobby, Jubilee and a few of their friends watched a movie in the rec room.

"Dunno, but he's a little like Wolvie. Or is it just me?", Jubilee said after a while.

Rogue rolled her eyes, "you're just so into him, Jubes."

"Actually I do think he does have some things in common with Logan", said Ororo.

"Would you just shut up?", Bobby asked smiling a little and shaking his head.

_"Don't you think it's time you told me who you are. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing the Duke thing with you 24/7 is a blast, but really. Who are you?" - "I'm the man that loves your sister"_, came it from the TV.

"They have a point there", Kitty said, "he kinda is a little like Logan."

Hank only sighed and muttered, "women."


	6. Dancing in the Dark

AN: Thank you for reading :) Leaving reviews is always so nice =D And it makes my day.

This chappie here is for DPR ^^. Just because...

The mentioned song was a choice because I've heard the artist performing it live once and it usually makes me think of a kind of relationship that Jean and Logan could have... (whatever that should mean :P).. anyway I've always loved that one so now that's where it goes.

* * *

_"Even if we're just dancing in the dark_  
_ You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart"_

_- Bruce Springsteen "Dancing In The Dark"_

* * *

_"Writing is a lonely job. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference. They don't have to makes speeches. Just believing is usually enough."_

_- Stephen King "On Writing"_

* * *

It was several hours later and Jean and Logan had decided to go back to the mansion. They were on their way back and just recently taking a break.

So right about now they were sitting on a rock at Lake Tahoe.

Jean was looking at her ring turning it a little bit, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure", Logan said his eyes not leaving the lake.

"How come you know your grandma gave you the ring. I mean after all you don't quite remember your past, do you?"

Logan sighed, "believe it or not but since I came to the mansion there are certain brief moments I remember. It's not much."

Jean looked up at him, "I didn't mean to..."

"It's ok", he said smiling a little, "you remember when I first arrived and you wanted to read my mind?" Jean nodded. How could she forget?

"I know what you saw back then", he said, "and I'm not mad at you for not telling me Jeannie. It's ok." He hugged her because she was about to cry.  
"As I said, there's little moments I remember. Another one is that I see my grandma's face infront of me. She's smiling and I must have been a little kid judging from the perspective. So she smiles at me, lays the ring in my hand and I don't know what she wants so she tells me, "when you've found her you'll know what to do". That's about it."

"That's... wow. That's cute", Jean said smiling.

"That's not cute. Nothing referring to me is ever gonna be _cute_", Logan said faking to be hurt.

"Yes Sir, you are", Jean said laughing.

"Am not."

"Sure. Whatever", Jean said giggling.

Logan's wall faded and he laughed as well, "just don't ever let anyone know or I might have to think twice about being cute."

"Nah", Jean said kissing him lightly, "I'm not telling them that you actually can be nice."

"Good", Logan said, "that would so ruin my reputation."

She playfully slapped him which made him fake an 'ouch' what caused her to roll her eyes, "Softie".

He quirked an embrow, "did you just call me a '_Softie_'?"

"No", Jean said.

"Yes you did. I heard it", he said.

"Didn't", Jean just said laughing.

"Don't even think it or", he said.

"You'll do what?", she asked. And she was enjoying all this. She hadn't have that much fun for ages. She couldn't even remember the last time she laughed that much and suddenly her smile faded.

"What is it?", Logan asked.

"I just can't remember the last time I was this happy", she said and was suddenly close to tears.

Logan pulled her into his embrace, "we'll be fine. Aaaaaand we'll have some more fun in the near future, I promise." That made her smile and he was glad she did so.

* * *

A couple of hours later they'd found themselves a motel in a small village. He had parked the bike infront of the motel and they had walked a few meters over to a bar. Which seemed to be the only place in the village where you could get something to eat in the evening.

There was not much going on in there. Some local people playing a game of pool. A few teens or tweens sitting at the bar talking to the bartender and that was about it.

Logan and Jean walked over to a small table in a corner. One side was windowed.

"So you can have burgers, burgers or burgers", Jean said studying the menu.

"I guess you'll take the 'or' then", Logan said.

"Actually I was more thinking about a cheeseburger", Jean answered.

"Seriously?", he asked, "I pictured you more like the salad person."

Jean laughed, "you're wrong mister. I love to eat all that unhealthy yummy stuff."

Logan smiled, "you're the doctor."

"Yep, so _eat as fast as you can as much as you like as long as you can_. Because sooner or later there may come a time when you can't anymore", Jean replied.

"I just can't believe you have a figure like that if you eat that way."

"Must be something genetic, I think", she replied smiling.

"You_ think_?", Logan quirked an eyebrow.

"You in for burgers now or what?", she asked and he just laughed.

"Just calm down", he said, "there's no rush."

Jean looked at him, "I'm starving and I can be evil if I'm hungry."

"Uhm, so that's the secret", Logan said, "good to know. Next time you're 'evil' I'll try it with food then."

He tried to make it sound funny and in some kind of way it was so Jean had to laugh picturing him not stabbing her but giving her a plate of fries and burgers. She took his hand and tried to send him the image mentally so he knew why she was laughing so histerically now. It must have worked because he was laughing as well.

"I'll keep that in mind", he said after several moments.

* * *

After two hours, burgers and a few drinks they finally left the bar. It was a bit more crowded than when they'd arrived. It was also a little bit louder inside now so they decided to leave.

They just reached the outside as they heard the first notes of Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing In The Dark" from the inside and Logan suddenly pulled Jean towards him and started to dance with her.  
She laughed and looked at him as he was swaying her around.

"I didn't know you could actually do that", she said.

"There's so much you don't know, my dear", he said laughing as well.

"So I guess we've a song at least", Jean said smiling.

He nodded, "I guess so, hon. I've always liked that song."

"Me too", she said her lips now touching his.

Moments later Jean escaped a yawn, "sorry", she mumbled a little tipsy. The fresh air seemed to have its way with her and she couldn't walk that straight anymore so Logan held her tight on their way back to their motel.

"Looks like someone's a little tired and a little drunk", Logan said guiding her.

"Ya thiiinkh?", she asked.

"Yep Red", he said fumbling with the key and the door for a few seconds before he slightly pushed her inside the room and closed the door behind himself.


	7. Us Against The World

AN: Thank you again for reading and reviewing. :) As I already said that makes my day. It really does so keep it up please... ^^

Jeannie: Yeah well... we'll have to wait and see about that I guess... ^^ As for the quote I'll send you a pm to that one =) And thanks for letting me know that you like my portraing of the characters. It's great to know that you like it. =) I try my best though.  
Probably it has little to do with the fact that I know a guy who used to bring me roses, carry me in the rain and kiss me outside while lightning was striking... etc. Though he was pretending to everyone else that he was the bad guy... Just wanting to let you know that I once had my very own living version of Logan, still have kinda, well let's say; it's complicated.

DPR: .. I'm glad you still like it :)

Aside that being said I hope you enjoy this chappie here.

* * *

_"Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy."_

_- Stephen King, On Writing_

* * *

_And I just wanna be there when the lightning strikes.  
And the saints go marching in_

_And sing slow it down,_  
_Through chaos as it swirls,_  
_It's us against the world._

_- Coldplay "Us Against The World"  
_

* * *

Two days later Ororo and Hank sat in the kitchen talking. It was really pretty late. They had done quite good the last week replacing Logan but it was not easy at all and especially Ororo was even more stressed out then she had been before.

"You think he'll ever come back?", she asked him.

"Well you know him, I guess he just needs his time but in the end he'll come back. He won't leave us alone here without saying goodbye."

"True", Ro said, "I just hope he's ok. I mean.. I .. I miss her too", she finally said tears rolling down her face and Hank hugged her.

"I know", he said.

"It wasn't fair at all", Ororo said sobbing for the first time since Jean died. She just hadn't have the time nor the will to let it get to her, until now.

Hank didn't quite know what to say so he settled for saying nothing. He knew Jean and Ororo had been pretty close friends and the past couple of months hadn't been easy for Ororo. Seeing her friend changing so much and then finally die.

They sat there for a couple of minutes until they heard a motorcycle coming nearer. First Ororo thought her mind was playing tricks but Hank heard it too.

She looked out of the window and didn't really see much except for two dark figures on a bike.

"He's not alone", she stated matter of factly.

Hank got up and pulled her with him so they could walk to the garage together. They were curious where Logan had been to and who was with him. And they were glad that he was finally back and seemed to be ok.

It took a couple of seconds at they stood in the garage hearing the bike coming nearer.  
Ororo was slightly getting nervous and they walked towards them as Logan parked the bike in a corner.

"You're back. Where have you been Lo -", Ororo said as she came towards Logan. Then she caught a glimpse of the person standing behind him, "... Jean", it rolled of her tongue. Nearly a whisper. And then suddenly her eyes rolled back and she sank to the ground. Gladly Hank who stood behind her reacted fast enough and caught her fall.

But he seemed quite pale himself compared to his usual skin color. "Is that really you, Jean?", he finally asked.

"Yep it's her", Logan said, "long story. Can we talk about that in the morning?"

"Sure", Hank said letting them both in while he was carrying Ororo. He excused himself carrying her to her room as the other two adults went to Logan's room.

Jean hadn't said a word since they entered the mansion.

Logan closed the door of his room behind them.

"So that went quite ok", he said wanting to make her smile but failed.

Jean sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong?", he asked her sitting down next to her.

She buried her head in her hands for a few seconds before she looked up at him, "what's wrong! My best friend just collapsed seeing me. I don't know in which way that is a quite good reaction."

Logan put his arms around her pulling her towards him, "Ro'll be fine. I guess it was just too much for her. I mean to her and everyone else you've been officially dead. And then you just stand infront of her?", he stated the facts.

"Maybe you're right", Jean said with tears on her face.

"We should go to bed and talk about everything with them in the morning. Don't you think?", he asked and she nodded not moving.

He got up, knealed down infront of her and helped her out of her boots. Her jacket and pants following then, "could you help me here?", he said smiling.

"Sorry", was all Jean said standing up now so her pants hit the floor. She stepped out of them. Logan went over to his wardrobe and pulled a shirt out and some boxers, "you can wear these", he said handing them to her.

"Thanks", she said getting out of her shirt and bra and pulled on the new items of clothing. Then she went over to the bathroom while Logan got rid of his own clothes put Jean's on a chair infront of the window and then got into his bed.  
She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and settled down next to him. He pulled her towards himself so she had her head on his chest and he was drawing little circles on her back.

"Just try to sleep", he said and she was already gone into her land of dreams.

He on the other hand lay awake a little longer thinking of the recent events. He could finally say that he was happy again. It didn't quite happen often in his life so far that he had really been happy.  
But now he had her back. Jean wasn't dead. She loved him and she wanted to stay with him forever. He really couldn't be more happy. So he just smiled.  
Since he got her back his nightmares were gone as well. And that was something that hadn't occured to him in years. Not to say decades.

He was stroking her back and looked down on her new old hair cut and smiled. He had done a pretty good job.  
It had been in the morning right after they had eaten breakfast that Jean told him that she wanted her hair looking like it did when he first arrived at the mansion. She wasn't that much into short hair, she'd tried it. But now it was too long for her liking and it was getting pretty heavy and sometimes that could cause a headache. And she wouldn't need any more headaches than normal.

It had been him who asked her if he should cut it and the look she had given him was rather priceless. But she didn't want to look for a hairdresser. After all it would take time to find one and they didn't need any attention of other people. So she agreed to his suggestion and he went to work. One of his claws cutting more precisely than any kind of scissors ever could. She was startled afterwards as she had shown her the outcome in a mirror and wondered how many people he had ever given a new haircut before.

He was still smiling of that memory. It took him several more moments until he finally fell asleep as well.


	8. 2 am and I'm still awake

AN: So there here we go, chappie 8. I hope you like it :) Feedback is like cookies. I neeeeeeed it. ^^... No, well but would be nice if you let me know what you think so far. :)

* * *

_"2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,_  
_ "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,_  
_ I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"_  
_ Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes_  
_ Like they have any right at all to criticize,_  
_ Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason"_

_- Anna Nalick - "Breathe (2 a.m.)"_

* * *

It was nearly 2 a.m. as he woke up. He lay another few more minutes in bed and tried to fall asleep again but somehow it just wouldn't work out so he got up and downstairs instead.

As he reached the rec room he went in and switched on the TV before he seated himself on the couch. He zapped through the program until he saw that one of his favourite movies was on so he settled for watching it.

The movie was nearly half way over as he heard Ororo entering the room.

"You could've called", she said.

"Saying what?", Logan asked her in return.

"So it's true then?", she asked and sat down next to him, "I didn't see any ghosts?"

"Nope, she's really back", Logan said.

Ororo left it there she didn't want to push him, "can't sleep?"

"Nope."

She was about to switch channels as Logan stopped her, "hey, I wanna watch that."

Ororo quirked an eyebrow, "you actually like that horror crap?"

"Geoffrey Rush is not crap and besides she's hot", he stated.

"uh um."

"And she can actually act pretty good", he added.

"But I wan'ed to watch 'Australia'", she said.

Logan rolled his eyes, "forget it, Ro. I'm not switching from Famke Janssen to Hugh 'what's-so-fabulous-about-him-anyway' Jackman."

"Please?", Ororo asked after a couple of minutes.

"Fine", Logan said, "she's dead now anyways."  
Then he got up, "see ya in the morning, I'll just try to sleep a little more."

"'Night Logan."

It didn't take him long to reach his room and shortly after he had cuddled up to Jean again.

"Where've you been?", she asked him halfway sleeping.

"Downstairs watching TV with 'Ro", he said and added after a moment, "what's so amazing about that Jackman guy?"

Jean was awake now and laughed.

"What's so funny?", he asked her, "it's just like every woman living in this building is into him."

"Well I'm not", Jean said, "but I know what you're talking about. You can't watch a single movie without them drooling."

Logan eyed her suspiciously, "so how come you're not into him?"

"Dunno", she said, "I prefer men like Pierce Brosnan or Geoffrey Rush."

Logan nearly fell out of the bed, "why? And besides they're old."

Jean rolled her eyes, "look who's talking. And Brosnan is just, well he's Brosnan. As for Geoffrey, he just does that thing with his face. It's entirely amazing."

"So that's why you've watched 'Pirates' for the umteeth time. But you're right. I just rewatched 'Haunted Hill' with 'Ro and he does kinda have a spookey face."

"It's not spookey", she said and added after a while frowning, "you just watched it because of '_HER_', didn't ya?"

"Can't help it", Logan said smiling, "she's hot and Dutch and tall and walks like a Goddess -"

"Yeah I got it", Jean said, "gotta say though I loved her in 'Golden Eye'."

"But really Brosnan?", Logan asked her after a few seconds.

Jean yawned, "can we just go back to sleep now?"

He didn't want to let her get away with it that easily, "I kinda got that Aussie obsession now you women've. But Brosnan's Irish. So why him?"

"Logaaaaan", Jean was nearly screaming.

"What?"

"I'll marry you for God's sake can you just shut up and sleep now?", Jean asked, "it's not like I'd ever gonna swap you with either of them."

"I just hope so", Logan said, "but really Jeannie, a guy who's called 'Pierce'?"

Jean frowned again and put her head under her pillow and tried to fall asleep again.

Logan must have fallen asleep again somehow. However Jean was still awake awhile later. It was nearly 3.30 a.m. and she decided to get up. She wouldn't fall asleep anymore anyway.

She took her jacket with her and changed into jeans before she left the room and went silently downstairs and out of the building.  
It was still warm outside and she sat down at the pond and was lost in thought shortly after.

She nearly jumped as she felt someone sitting down next to her.

"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you", he said.

She looked at him curiously and couldn't place him. She wasn't sure if she hadn't seen him anywhere before.  
He seemed to notice it, "I'm sorry. I'm Warren, my dad was the one who kinda caused that Alcatraz mess." He knew who she was though, "you're Dr. Grey, right?"

Jean just nodded and was nearly about to cry. He took her hand in his, "hey, look at me", and he was glad as she did, "don't blame yourself for anything that had happend."

"Do you even know what I did?", she asked pointblanc.

He smiled slightly, "I don't blame you. You're Phoenix and she is you. I heard that the Professor tried to separate your personalities, but I learned by myself that you can't do that. They're both combined. Both of them make you who you are.  
I know what happened at Alcatraz. I've been there. But if there's someone to blame for what you did then it's either Magneto for talking you into it, the soldiers firing their guns making you angry or the Professor for trying to cage Phoenix in the first place or I could blame my father.  
But I'm not blaming them. And most importantly I don't blame you. I know what it is like to struggle against it.

Learn to accept her. Get along with your mutation the way it is. Believe me it makes things a lot less complicated. And it doesn't hurt that much either", he said.

Jean didn't quite know what to say so she hugged him first and released him then again, "thank you", she said holding his hands in hers, "I guess I needed to hear that."

"You're welcome", he said smiling, "besides there's to be a reason they call me _Angel_."

"Can you even wear shirts and stuff?", Jean then asked out of curiousity.

"Well it wasn't easy in the beginng but now I kinda figured it out."

"What brings you here at this time by the way?", Jean asked.

His smile suddenly faded, "I couldn't sleep."

"Who is it?", Jean asked.

He couldn't quite follow her so she said, "you know I'm a telepath. It's not that hard to guess that a girl is the reason you can't sleep."

"Wow, you're good", he said.

Jean laughed, "actually your eyes gave you away."

"It's Marie", he said.

"Is she still with Bobby?", Jean asked him, "you know I'm not quite up to date anymore."

"She has taken the cure back then. I don't exactly know what happened between them but they broke up shortly afterwards. It's not like she wouldn't tell me but I don't feel like asking.  
She doesn't see more in me than a friend, I guess", he said.

Jean stroked through his hair slightly, "did you actually talk to her?"

He shook his head.

"Well then you should try it."

"I'm scared of losing her", Warren said.

Jean smiled slightly, "you could always take it slow. But talk to her, she's the last person who'd rip your head off."

"So since you know why I'm out here at this hour. What originally made you come here?" Warren asked her.

"You know sometimes I just want to not think at all. To just put my head at rest", she said. "This is one of the places I found over the years that works. The water is kinda soothing.  
Sometimes I just wish I could fly and see the world from above, nothing around me and the minds of everyone as far away from me as possible."

Warren smiled, "get up."

"What?", Jean asked him.

"Well the first part can be arranged. You'd only have to live with my mind being up there as well."

It finally hit her, "you mean you would actually..?"

He put one arm around her hip and the other one under her knees then he gathered her up in one quick motion, "don't worry, I'm not letting you fall down."

Jean placed her arms around his neck and he was already spreading his wings. She'd seen much before but this even impressed her.

"Wow", was all that escaped her lips and Warren smiled as he gently took off with her and into the night sky. The mansion beneath them becoming more and more smaller as the full moon above them grew wider.

It was like half an hour later that they landed where they'd left off.

Warren put her gently down on her own feet. She was still standing very close to him though.

"That was entirely breathtaking", Jean said placing a brief kiss an his cheek.

"You're welcome", Warren said smiling.

"Show her that", Jean said, "believe me she just can't let you down afterwards."

"I'll keep that in mind", he said, "and thank you so much."

"I have to thank you", Jean said. The sunrise wasn't that far away anymore, "I should go back in."

"Yeah me too", he said and walked slowly towards the mansion before turning one last time around to her, "see ya."

Jean smiled and walked back in as well.

It took Jean a few moments until she'd reached Logan's room. She opened the door and let herself in. As her eyes looked through the room she noticed that he was no longer in his bed but that the balcony door was slightly ajar.  
She walked over and saw Logan standing out there, smoking.  
He didn't turn around.

"What was that about?", he spat.

"What do you mean?", Jean asked him innocently.

Logan laughed, "don't gimme that crap. I can smell that guy on you, it's disgusting. So what was that about?"

Jean sighed, "we just talked", she stated, "and", she stopped.

"and what?", Logan asked slowly getting more angry.

"I mentioned to him that I'd pretty much like to have the ability to just fly and leave all those racing minds behind for a few moments. Well he took it literally and swept me off my feet and then we flew around a little bit", she explained reaching for Logan's hand.

Logan pulled his hand away, "and you think I'll believe that?"

Jean grabbed both of his hands this time, turning him towards her. He didn't even have a chance to react. She used her powers to make him hold her gaze, "it is the truth. Besides he is a kid Logan and you know damn well that I love you."

He knew she was telling the truth. And then a tear ran down his face. He didn't say anyhing though.

Jean's powers faded but his head didn't leave its position. She reached out to him and touched his cheek, "why are you crying?"

"Why didn't you come to _me_? I want to be the one that is there for you."

"You're so much more than that", Jean said kissing him softly, "Logan, you're my soulmate. You're the one who protects me all the time. Who saves me. You're the one I love with all my heart."

"I know", he said, "it's just..."

Jean kissed him again, "I love you."

"He can fly", Logan said between kisses.

Jean laughed, "yeah he can fly. But you can protect me, turn enemies into meat balls, uh and cut my hair."

"Did I mention he can fly?", Logan asked.

"Yep", Jean said, "and I'm as envious as you are." All of a sudden Jean smashed Logan full force through the open door and onto his bed. She then walked up to him and onto him who lay on the bed not moving before she started kissing him hungrily, "did I mention you can do this amazing -", she was cut off as his tongue met hers.


	9. Into the fire

AN: Thanks for the feedback :) I'm glad you still like it. ^^.. I'll try my best.

Jeannie: Yeah well probably she'll try that some time later on ;) We'll see...

As for now here's chappie 9 =). It's a little darker... sorry guys&gals.

* * *

_The sky was falling and streaked with blood_  
_ I heard you calling me then you disappeared into the dust_  
_ Up the stairs, into the fire_  
_ I need your kiss, but love and duty called you someplace higher_  
_ Somewhere up the stairs into the fire_

_- Bruce Springsteen - "Into The Fire"_

* * *

It was nearly 6.30 a.m. as Jean entered the kitchen followed by Logan.

"Take a seat", Logan sat and gave her a look that told her that she better be doing so.

"Ok", Jean said not knowing what he was up to.

Logan walked over to the fridge pulled some stuff out, walked over to the stove put the stuff down and a few moments later it already started to smell like breakfast was being made.

"Smells good", Jean said.

"Uh you have no idea", Logan said turning around for a moment to grin at her.  
It took him a few more minutes until he was ready and walked over to Jean with two plates.

"Can I have that every morning?", Jean asked.

"If you want", Logan answered giving her a kiss.

They started eating and it didn't take long until someone entered the kitchen. Ororo and Hank were first and sat next to Jean and Logan. A few moments later a bunch of people entered and nearly stopped at the door, dead in their tracks which caused the following people to bump into them.

"Could someone pinch me?", Jubilee was the first to say something, "ouch!"

"Am I still dreaming?", was Rogue's question.

It was Kitty who then started to run towards Jean and hugged her, "are you for real?"

Jean laughed a little, "yes I'm back. And I'm fine so far."

Kitty didn't want to let go of her, "sorry", she said after a few moments, "it's just that I've missed you so much."

"We all have", said Bobby then as the rest of them now stood next to Jean.

"Good to have you back", said Rogue and hugged Jean as well.

It was Jean who spoke up then, "is it really that easy? I mean what I did..."

It was Piotr's turn now, "you didn't really want to do what you did. I mean it's still sad what happened to Scott and the Professor but it's not your fault, Dr. Grey."

"Thank you", Jean said and was close to tears, "I have to tell you something. I can't explain it though but they are both not dead."

It was Logan who caught Ororo's coffee mug just in time as the white haired woman turned to Jean rather shocked, "what?"

"I don't know where Scott is, but he was alive as I last saw him. I didn't kill him, I mean Phoenix didn't as well. And Charles , I don't know how to explain that but his mind kinda left his body before I shattered him into pieces. He had a smile on his face like he was saying that everything would be alright again."

"That can't be", Ororo said.

"Apparently", Logan said, "I saw his face as well. She's right. As for Scott I don't know but I believe her."

Ororo suddenly stood up and walked over to her best friend hugging her. As she finally released her she had a huge smile and a few tears on her face, "God how I've missed you, sweetie. Welcome home, Jean."

"Thank you", Jean said returning the gesture, "I don't know what to say. I would've imagined any reaction but not this one."

"You don't have to say anything", Hank said, "besides glad to have someone back who can keep an eye on _Mc Grumpy_ here."

Jean laughed and Logan growled.

They sat a few more hours in the kitchen. Just talking and laughing. Everyone wanted to know what happend. How Logan had found her and where and Jean wanted to know what had happend while she was gone.

It was a little after noon as Jean suddenly yawned, "sorry", she said.

"You should get some rest", Hank told her.

"I guess you're right", Jean said. Being a doctor herself she knew it was probably better to sleep a little.

"You'll excuse us", Logan said and left the kitchen with Jean.

It took them a few moments to reach his room.

"That went rather well", he said after closing the door.

"You could say that", Jean said and yawned again.

"Looks like someone's really tired", Logan said and sat down on the bed, "come on, let's get some sleep."

Jean lay down next to him and was out instantly.

* * *

He sat straight in his bed as he heard a scream. Not only any scream. But her. He looked around the room and noticed that she was really nowhere to be found so he jumped out of bed and ran out of the room as soon as possible.

"Jean?", he called out running. He didn't care if he would wake anyone.  
He knew something was wrong. Getting no answer at all from her wasn't a good sign.

He could only smell her and as fast as he could he ran towards the stairs in the hallway. As he reached the staircase he looked down and saw her in a rather not normal position laying on the ground. A little puddle of blood forming beneath her.

"What happened?", Kitty asked as he reached Logan.

"Just get Hank", Logan replied and Kitty was already on her way. Logan himself ran down the stairs. And it took him forever to finally get to her.

"Jean?", he tried again.

Her eyelids flattering, "don't move me", she pressed through her lips.

He didn't understand her at all, "Jeannie, stay with me."

"Logan", it took her a lot of strength to speak, "I feel so weak."

"Stay with me Jean, you promised", Logan said fighting with his tears.

"What happend?", asked Hank approaching them.

"Dunno", Logan said not leaving Jean's eyes, "I found her this way. I guess she fell down the stairs."

Hank was about to touch Jean as Logan added, "she told me not to move her. Whatever that meant."

Hank sighed, "I won't lie to you. It's not easy. She could be seriously injured. Right now I can't tell if anything happend to her spine or if she can move her legs. What she meant is that if we move her the possibility of making it worse is huge."

"So what do we do?", Logan asked.

Hank looked at Kitty, "could you get Dr. Mc Taggert?"

Kitty was already on her way again.

Then he said, "she's lost some amount of blood but I can't move her. Do me a favor and talk to her. Don't let her drift away."

Logan nodded, "Jean you heard him? Don't leave me here. You promised."

"I", Jean said.

"You don't need to talk. Just promise me to stay. I can do the talking. Just listen, hon."

"Can you hold this?", Hank asked Logan several moments later and Logan took the objects in his hand that Hank gave him.

Kitty was although back followed by Moira Mc Taggert.

"She needs blood", was the first thing Moira said.

"We can't move her", Hank stated.

Moira sighed.

Logan didn't understand what they meant but then it hit him, "can't you just use my blood?"

Normally Hank would tell anyone it was a stupid idea because that person himself could be seriously injured by that. But it was Logan and he wasn't normal neither would he care getting injured, "I don't know", Hank said, "it could work. But we already ran some tests on your blood and no other normal person could ever live with your blood."

Logan looked at him suspiciously for a moment before turning back to Jean. Hank went on, "it would just burst their veins. Don't ask me why or how that works but we tested that."

"But she's not normal", Logan said, "she's a class 5 mutant."

"As I said it could work", Hank sighed.

"Is there anything else we could do?", Logan asked and didn't get any reply, "I'll do that. I know she could make it. She has to."

"Ok", Moira said, "would you come with me to the nurses station then?"

Logan nodded getting up, "stay awake Jean."

"I'll make her", Kitty said taking his place next to Jean as Logan followed Moira down the corridor to the next nurses station.

Hank was doing his best and Kitty kept on talking to Jean.

"Listen", Kitty said, "don't give up on anything. Don't even dare to close your eyes. Logan's so gonna kill me if you do.  
Besides he's with Moira right now. They need his blood to give it to you. He'll be back soon. I promise. And until then you need to stay awake."

Jean had her eyes still open and tried to focus on Kitty's words. It wasn't easy and it felt like an eternity as minutes passed by.

_"She's right though we'll have to make it," _she heard _Phoenix_ talking to her,_ "finally we have him so now we can't give up. Fight with me, Jean. You understand?"_

The need to rest became more intense but Jean didn't want to give up.

"You can do it", Kitty said once again.

A few moments later Moira was back. Directly followed by Logan who was carrying a huge box which he put down next to Hank.

"Should be enough for now", Moira said and was starting to fix things up.

Logan sat down next to Jean on her other side, "don't leave me."

"Hold that", Moira said to Logan who did so without looking at her.

"How's it going?", Logan asked Hank.

Hank sighed, "actually ... way better than I thought it would be. Still I don't know how she'll react to your blood. We'll have to see and hope."

Suddenly Moira spoke up, "did you? Did you see that?"

"What?", the other three asked in unison.

"That scar on her arm", Moira said.

"There's no scar on her arm", Hank said.

"But there was one."

"You mean?", Logan asked as it hit him.

No one answered him, they just waited a couple of minutes more. Kitty was still doing good in making Jean stay conscious.

"Look at that", Hank said pointing to a wound on Jean's right side. It looked like it was healing as fast as Logan's wounds would do.


	10. Dont tell me it's not worth fightin' for

AN: So let's see how we go on from there. ... :) Hope you still like it though.

* * *

_Look into my eyes - you will see_  
_ What you mean to me_  
_ Search your heart, search your soul_  
_ And when you find me there you'll search no more_

_- Bryan Adams - "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You"_

* * *

A few hours later Jean was laying in bed in Logan's room. She had healed pretty fast but Hank had ordered her bed rest until the next morning just to be sure she was really fine.

She had her reading glasses on and was reading a magazine as Logan entered the room with a beer and a glass of water for her.

"What are you reading?", he asked eyeing her magazine, "thought you'd read about the latest fashion stuff you missed."

"Actually it's about", Jean started to explain but then stopped, "you wouldn't get it if I try to tell you what's it about."

Logan sighed, "that what just mean, Jean. So why are you reading that medical stuff that no one gets, anyway?"

"Just have to check what I missed", she said, "besides I was invited to a conference next week so it would be helpful to know a little bit about the topics."

"You're not really considering going, are you?", Logan asked.

"I want to find out what their next move will be and what they know so I guess I have to, hon."

"You can't be serious", he said, "after everything what happened."

"Logan", she said.

"I won't let you leave me", he said being stubborn.

"I'm going", Jean said.

"Fine", he grunted, "but I've one condition."

"Which is?"

"I'm going with you."

"I'm sorry hon and as much as I like your looks but I guess they won't even let you into the building", she said smiling a little.

"I can change that", he said.

"As if you ever would", Jean said eyeing him.

"Anythin' for you", Logan said smiling.

"Riiiiight", Jean said not believing him. His hairstyle was sacred.

* * *

It was several hours later. Logan had brought them their dinner upstairs and they had eaten in silence.

Jean yawned, "I think I'll settle for sleeping now."

Logan growned a little, "I'd like to do that too."

"What's the matter?", Jean asked, "scared of getting nightmares?"

"No", Logan said, "Marie and Jubes are already discussing for over an hour some things about their biology test tomorrow. Don't ask me what but there's something they don't get."

Jean's face was pale a moment before asking, "who's teaching them now anyways?"

"Hank", Logan said, "and I know he'd be glad if you'd be doing that again."

Jean chuckled and sat up.

"What are you doing?", Logan said.

"Come on hon, let's get over there and see what I can do. You need your sleep."

Logan helped her up and then walked with her out of the room and towards Rogue's.

Jean knocked and then entered it with Logan behind her, closing the door right again after them.

It was Logan who spoke up as the girls looked at them, "you should be sleeping by now. As for your problems with your biology teacher I happen to sleep with one so I thought about coming over."

Jean was suppressing a laugh while Jubilee and Rogue were a little shocked. Jean went over to Rogue and sat down inbetween the two girls on the bed. She put her reading glasses back on, "so what's troubling you?"

Logan was watching as Marie gave Jean the biology book and a script. Jean took a quick look over both things then explained something to the girls that they both seemed to understand. To him it was still less understandable than Chinese.

It took another five more minutes until Jean stood up again and pushed her glasses up her head and into her hair, "just get some sleep now."

"Thanks Jean", Jubilee said, "would've saved some time though if you'd be teaching us."

Rogue nodded, "yeah thank you so much."

"Most welcome", Jean said smiling. Then Jubilee got up as well took her stuff and the three left the room silently. Jubilee turned left at the door whereas Jean and Logan turned right. Not without wishing each other "g'night" though.

A few moments later Logan lay in bed with Jean in his arms.

"Way better", he said referring to the noise level.

Jean gave him a quick kiss and smiled, "night then."

"night hon", he said and added, "did you know how hot you look wearing glasses?"

Jean made a mental note to herself and smiled, "no, but thanks for the useful information."

It didn't take long until they were both deep asleep.

* * *

The next morning as Jean entered the kitchen it was already crowded and everyone was standing near Ororo. Jean went over to her best friend as well and hugged her, "Happy Birthday 'Ro", she said.

"Didn't you get me anything?", Ororo asked faking being sad.

"You'll get it later", Jean said smiling.

"That's mean", Ororo said.

"Live with it", Jean said and walked over to the fridge.

"Why are you wearing gloves?", Logan asked Marie all of a sudden.

"My", she began, "my power is back."

Everyone's heads snapped towards her, "I didn't want to spoil the mood. I just found out this morning."

"So that means", Logan said and several images flipped through Jean's mind before she replied, "that it's not working and 'someone' might be back soon. But today is Ororo's birthday aaaaaand", she was looking at some of the younger ones now, "some of you have school and tests etc."

There were a lot people leaving the room. Actually nearly everyone, leaving only Jean and Logan behind.

"This ain't good", he finally said.

Jean nodded, "I'm scared."

"Of Erik?", he asked. He knew she didn't like it when he called him or any other mutants by their mutant names in a normal conversation so he actually called him Erik and not Magneto as he'd like to do it.

"More of what he can and will do next", she stated.

Logan pulled her into his arms, "we'll get through that", he said and tried to calm her.


End file.
